Midnight in the Dark Forest

Chapter 14

The next few weeks leading up to Christmas were less taxing, emotionally, for both of them for one simple reason: E and Snape had reached an unspoken agreement regarding their feelings for each other, and both decided to move forward with a friendship appropriate to their status as colleagues and desire nothing more from each other.  Now that an agreement had been reached, and E and Snape both seemed happier for it, the hard part was to abide by it.  

Sitting together in the Great Hall at dinner was proving to be more difficult than expected, at least for E.  While she would always have feelings for Snape, she knew in her heart that his was given away in his childhood and was never really returned to him; it belonged to that lovely redheaded girl from his memories and would never be available to another.  She had resigned herself to the knowledge that Snape would never have feelings for her, and tried to consider him only a colleague and friend.  Sitting next to him discussing the day’s events, looking into his cold black eyes, breathing in his intoxicating scent, was as close to torture as E had ever experienced.  

Snape knew the extent of the feelings E had for him, but he had convinced himself that she was content with a relationship based on friendship, not love.  While, to an uninformed outsider, this would seem to be exactly what he wanted all along, it was becoming clear to Snape that his feelings for E had not been so easily abandoned in the Dark Forest that evening.  Not one word had passed between them about that evening, but it was the basis for their respective conclusions.  E would always love Snape, but she knew nothing would ever come of it, and Snape thought he could suppress his feelings for this intriguing woman so taken with him and continue his life of chaste sorrow.

What neither of them knew was, as Christmas approached and the snow they both loved covered the castle grounds like a blanket, that they were completely and utterly wrong.

Chapter 13

E reappeared as close to the grounds of the castle as she could manage.  After her interaction with Snape, she was lucky to make it back without incident.  How could she be so stupid?  Snape would never feel the same for her as she did for him; maybe it was time to give up on any hope of a future with him playing a role in her life other than a colleague and acquaintance.  She walked through the gates leading to the grounds and started for the castle.  Mid-journey, she decided that the castle was not where she wanted to be and made a detour to the Dark Forest.  Even in the snowy and moonless night, E was able to find her way to the copse of trees that had become her favorite part of the forest.  She stood in the center and thought.  Thought about what her life had been before she returned to Hogwarts.  Thought about how she could move on from this moment of utter sadness.  Thought about how she was going to face Snape the next evening in the Great Hall.  As she stood there, she removed her wand from her cloak and pointed it at the forest canopy.  With a flick of her wrist, tiny twinkly lights appeared in the snow-covered trees and illuminated the night.  These were all the Christmas decorations she needed: twinkly lights in a snowy wood.

“Do you have a moment?”  He appeared out of nowhere.  The snowy floor silenced his already light steps, and there was no wind to bring his scent to her attention.  She spun and found Snape standing inside the circle of trees looking up at the lights.  

“I’m not really in the mood to talk to you right now, Professor.”  She could not bring herself to look at him for long and stared up at the lights she created, hoping her tears would wait just a bit longer.  

“I imagine that is so, but I need a moment of your time.  I need to explain.”

She looked at him, her tears only a few moments away from falling.  “I’m not sure I’m willing to listen to your explanations.  Please, leave me alone.”

“No, I am sorry, but I will not do that.  Not yet.”  He stepped closer to her and looked into her eyes.  “I need you to know…something…everything.”  With an unspoken spell, he entered her mind effortlessly.  At first, she fought him, trying to expel him with her own skills, but he was much more powerful than she, and she succumbed to his intrusions.  The images that crossed her mind were his.  What she saw frightened her, in both nature and intensity.  His memories began early, perhaps at ten or eleven years old.  A young boy, clearly Snape, and a lovely girl with red hair, sitting and talking in a flowering wood.  The faces in the memories aged, and the two were at Hogwarts.  They were still friends, but their relationship had changed.  He clearly loved her, but her actions and words portrayed friendship rather than love.  She had feelings for another, one of Snape’s tormenters.  These tormentors, one of whom was Remus, tortured Snape throughout his time at Hogwarts.  E had no idea that Remus had this past.  She suddenly understood Snape’s hatred for him, and hated herself for their friendship.  There was a vision of a plot to kill Snape, both hatched and thwarted by one of his tormentors, and an uneasy debt.  The images changed, and E found herself watching an interaction between Snape, his friend, and Snape’s four tormentors.  An insult, shouted in anger, ended the friendship between Snape and the girl, and the sadness he felt at the loss he suffered was evident in his memories.  E was overcome with his heartache, and the tears she had been able to contain to this point finally came rushing out, not for herself, but for him.  There was an overheard prophecy, a desperate plea, and a profound inconsolable sadness.  E could not endure any more; she tried with all her skill to break the connection and staggered away from him to rest against a tree.  Snape recovered from his memories and stepped forward to comfort her, reaching out to help her steady herself.  She was still crying, but Snape knew that her tears were not for herself, but for him.  

“Oh God, please don’t touch me,” she cried.  She recoiled from his reach and collapsed to her knees, her tears falling to the ground and disappearing into the snow.

Snape stopped and looked at her.  He withdrew his hand and stood looking at the snow between them.  “I repulse you now.  You cannot stand to have me touch you after bearing witness to my past sins.”  

After a few moments, E was able to stand again.  She wiped the tears from her face and looked at Snape.  He voice quavered as she spoke, but he needed to understand.  “I don’t deserve your compassion.  I don’t deserve your kindness.  I am so sorry for everything.”

He took one step forward.  E did not move away from him this time.  “What are you talking about?”

“My friendship with Remus.  I had no idea…”  She shook her head and closed her eyes, “…What he did to you.  What his friends did to you.”  Her tears started to fall again.  Snape took one more step toward her, and again E did not move away.  “My cruel words and accusations.  My desire, my insistence, that we might have been more than friends.  I am so sorry for everything I have said to you.  Everything I have done to you.  I knew your past was filled with sorrow and torment, but I had no idea of the extent.”  E reached out her hand to touch his arm, a gesture she had made several times in the past, but she quickly realized what she was doing and withdrew it.  “Every touch must have been torture for you; I was selfish and inappropriate.  I have no right to want you; your heart belongs to another.”  Her tears had stopped, but it was taking every ounce of strength to look at him.  Her love for him was not diminished by the disclosure of his past, but she now feared that he would never be hers. 

One more step.  “No, you misunderstand.  I need you to know.  To know why…”  He couldn’t finish his statement.  What did he want her to know?  Why was this so hard?  She was everything he wanted, and she clearly wanted him, so why couldn’t he say what needed to be said?

She held up her hand to stop him from going any further.  “There is no need to explain.  Everything I need to know, you have already shared.”  She took one step toward him, desperately wanting to touch him.  “This entire evening was a mistake.  Perhaps my return to Hogwarts was one as well.”  Snape shook his head, opening his mouth to speak, wanting her to know that that was not true, but she silenced him with her hand on his arm.  She had been holding back out of respect, but she could not do so any longer.  “There is no reason to believe we cannot remain colleagues.  I will abandon my hopes of being anything more than that to you.  Please know that you mean a great deal to me, and always will, but I cannot bear to cause you any more pain or torment.  I am truly sorry for everything.”  She turned away from him, unwilling to listen to any response he may have for her and started her walk up to the castle.  

He wanted to stop her, to tell her…  Tell her what, he thought to himself.  That he loved her?  No, of course not.  That was impossible.  Wasn’t it?  He let her go, and watched as she walked away, the knowledge of her broken heart haunting him.  Why did it feel as if his heart were breaking as well?

  

Chapter 12

E arrived at The Three Broomsticks around six; she was early, but she was finished with her shopping and did not want to walk around in the snow.  She didn’t know if Snape was going to join her, but she seriously doubted it.  She found a table near the back, facing the door, ordered a pot of tea, and waited.  Six-thirty came and went.  Then seven, and seven-thirty.  She told him seven, right?  She pulled a book out of her bag and started to read.  Every time the door open and another witch or wizard entered, she lifted her head to see if Snape had finally arrived.  And it was never him.  At one point, the door opened and the wind blew, rousing her from her thoughts, and she thought she could smell him on the breeze, but she could not find him in the crowd.  She looked at everyone in the pub, looked for his shape, his coat, his eyes hidden beneath a hood, but nothing.  At eight-thirty, she decided to give up and abandon her hopes for an evening with the one man she ever loved.  She paid for her three pots of tea, gathered her book and parcels, and started to walk out into the cold evening.  As she reached her hand to the door to leave, the door opened and Remus and Tonks walked in.  

“E!  How are you?  What are you doing here?”

“I was meeting someone, but he did not arrive.”

“Who, may I ask, were you to meet?”  Remus asked.  Tonks lightly swiped him on the shoulder.

“That is none of our business, dear, and you know it.”

“Actually, if E is meeting whom I think she’s meeting, it is most certainly our business.”  He looked at E, and she looked away.

“Yes, fine, if you must know, yes I was to meet Snape here tonight.  However, he chose to ignore my invitation to have drinks.”

“Oh, honey,” Tonks said, “I don’t understand why you keep trying with that man.”

“Sometimes, I don’t either.  Just as I begin to question my own choices, he does something that makes me forget who I am.”  She smiled to herself and looked away, blushing.  “You know what that’s like, Tonks.  Remus pushed you away several times, and now look at the two of you.  Happy newlyweds, a baby on the way.”  Tonks took Remus’ hand, and they both smiled.  

“Please, join us for a bit.  We haven’t had the chance to catch up in quite a while.”  Tonks led E to a table in the back, and Remus followed.  They sat and chatted for an hour or so; eventually, all three realized that they had to return to their regular lives and stood to say goodbye.  E hugged Tonks and turned to Remus.  

He looked down at her and said, “I’m sorry your evening did not go as planned, but you really need to move on.  Snape does not deserve you, or your devotion.  He is unworthy of your love, and incapable of love himself.”

“I don’t believe that, but I appreciate your concern.”  She reached out and hugged him.  As she did, she was overwhelmed with an odd sensation; a wave of anger swept over her, but the wave did not originate within her.  She suddenly realized what was happening and released Remus from her hug.  She looked around the pub and saw him.  In the corner, glaring at them both, stood Snape.  He had been there the whole time, from the moment she thought she could smell him hours ago.  She looked at him, met his stare, and walked over to him. 

Before she had the chance to say a word, Snape stepped forward and said, “I knew your proposal was not what it seemed.  Your plan was to meet him here all along.  You were going to make a fool of me.”  He stepped around her to leave, but she followed, needing to say something, anything to convey her anger and hurt.  They reached the door and walked out into the snowy night.  

E reached out and grabbed his arm to stop him.  He spun around to face her.  His anger had lessened; hers had not.  “You are too brilliant to be that dense.  You sat here all night, watching me from your dark corner.  Did you see me waiting for you?  Did you notice that I looked at every person who entered this pub, wishing it were you?  Did you watch as my hopes were dashed as I resigned myself to the fact that you were not coming?  Did you enjoy watching me suffer all evening?”  Her words were whispered, meant only for him, but they cut through him like no scream could have.  “I knew you were cold.  Distant.  Even aloof.  But I never thought you could be so cruel.”  At that word, that accusation, she saw he was defeated.  He sighed once, his breath visible in the cold night air, and took one step back.  He lowered his eyes to the snow between them, unable or unwilling to look at her.  She stood, looking at him, knowing she went too far, but her hurt won out.  Remus and Tonks finally emerged from the pub; E saw them, nodded a goodbye in their direction, and apparated.  Snape was left standing in the snow; Remus walked up to him.

“You really are a…”  Before he could finish, Snape apparated with a pop.  “Well, that was just rude.”  Remus turned to Tonks and shook his head.  “I don’t know what E sees in him.”

Tonks laughed quietly and said, “You really don’t understand women, do you, darling?”  She took his hand, and together they walked off into the night.  

 

Chapter 11

One morning, the residents of the castle awoke to a fresh layer of snow blanketing the grounds; winter had come to Hogwarts.  The relationship, if one could call it that, between Professor Snape and E had stalled in the waning months of autumn.  Following the Amortentia fiasco, both were unwilling to spend too much time with each other out of fear of letting their feelings show.  Dinners in the Great Hall were silent; not even the smallest of small talk escaped their lips for the same reason.  E clearly loved Snape, and she really had no reason to hide it from him.  He knew she had feelings for him; that much had been obvious since her return to the castle, but he was unaware of the extent of those feelings.  What was more concerning to both of them were his feelings for her.  She knew nothing of his experience with the Amortentia, so she was still in the dark.  It worried him that she may be able to sense those feelings if they spent too much time together, and he blocked her completely from his mind.  This she could sense, and it unnerved her.  Never had he completely blocked her, not even when she was a student, and she was concerned.  Did she upset him in some way?  Was he angry with her?  He was avoiding her as much as he could, and it did not please her in the least.  

E finally decided that she would do something about it.  One evening, after dinner, she walked down to the dungeons to speak with Snape.  She had to know what she did to upset him so.

She walked to his office, took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.

“Enter.”  She opened the door and walked through.  Sitting behind his desk, Professor Snape lifted his head and looked at her.  Their eyes met, only for a moment, and they both looked away.  

“Good evening, sir.  Do you have a moment?”

“No.”

She was not going to give up so easily.  “Well, I won’t take up too much of your time.  I need to talk to you about something.”  He lifted his head and looked at her again, waiting for her to speak.  She took another deep breath and mustered her courage.  “Have I done something to upset you?” she asked looking into his eyes.  He opened his mouth as if to say something, but appeared to change his mind and did not say a word.  When he did not respond, E broke her eye contact and focused on the details of the space.  She walked around his office, and over to a wall lined with bookshelves.  She stopped, and, with her back to him, gently ran her fingers over the spines of the leather-bound and gilded tomes so lovingly placed on the bookshelves.  The hours she could spend down here with these books, she thought to herself.  She felt his eyes following her, and was sure that he was aware of her thoughts.  He opened his mouth, and his comment removed all doubt in her mind. 

“This is not a library.  You may not borrow any book you wish.”

“Ah, right, sir.”  She took her hand off the books and turned to face him.  “You appear to be missing an important work for a collection of this nature.  You have every other book written on the Dark Arts except The Dark Arts Throughout the Ages.”

“That book is exceptionally rare.  I doubt any copies are still in existence.  They were destroyed during one the darker periods in the history of our kind.  As a bookseller, and a witch, I would expect you to know this.”

She smiled and looked down.  “Yes, Professor, I do know this.”  I also know where to find a copy, she thought to herself.  “But back to the reason for my intrusion.  You have not answered my question, my lord.  Have I done something to upset you?  Please, sir, I need to know.”

“What makes you think that I am upset with you?”

“You have barely said two words to me in weeks.  You avoid me in the corridors, and never share a word at dinner.  Clearly, I did something to upset or anger you; I just don’t know what it could have been.”

“There is nothing you could do to upset me.”

His response shocked her.  What did he mean?  She looked at him, the confusion apparent on her face.  “I don’t understand, sir.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to.”  

Should she be offended by his obvious insult or let it wash over her?  She must have visibly cringed at his insult, for he quickly followed his remark with an explanatory comment.  “I only mean that nothing you do or say is significant enough to affect me in any way.”

“Oh, I’m glad we cleared that up.”  She walked around the office, too angry to form words just yet.  “You are insufferable, did you know?  I have tried to be a colleague; I have tried to be a friend.  You clearly have no respect for the former and no desire for the latter.”

He had no response for her.  What was wrong with him?  In the past, it was never his habit to speak without thinking.  E did something to him; he could not think around her and always said the wrong thing.  

She turned to leave.  “Please, wait,” he said as she reached the door.  She turned around to face him, and he could see that he deeply hurt her.  He moved out from behind his desk to join her by the door.  “I apologize.  That was unkind.”  He looked at her, but had to look away to shield his thoughts.  Having her so close was making it difficult to close his mind to her. 

“Is this how it’s going to be with us?  I thought we had moved passed this stage in our relationship.  Must we continue to trade snide remarks after appearing to be friends?”

Again, he had no response.  She moved closer to him, but, unlike in the past, she was able to keep her hands to herself.  He did not back away, which gave her some hope.  She decided that she would just come out and say it.  “Professor Snape, I care about you.  I care for you.  I wish we could be friends and not just colleagues who sit in stony silence at dinner.”  It wasn’t all that she wanted to say, but it was all she could at that moment.  

Snape opened his mouth to speak, but he could not form words.  He did not know, even in his own mind, if he could be friends with her.  Maybe, he thought, he wanted more from her, but he could not put that into words either.  

She saw that he was struggling with her comment and decided to rescue him.  “Sir, I have a plan.  More like a proposal.  I’ll be in Hogsmeade this weekend doing some holiday shopping.  I propose that we meet at the Three Broomsticks for a drink, or coffee, or tea. Whatever…”  She shook her head and looked away; she was rambling, but she had to get it out.  “We can talk, away from the castle, and decide what we want to do about our…situation.”

“What situation would that be?”  He was being difficult, or coy, she could not tell which, but she had to smile to herself.  He was going to make her say it.  

“Our relationship…or friendship…or colleague-ship.  Whatever you want to call it.  We need to come to some sort of consensus.  Are we just colleagues?  Are we friends?  Do you want to be friends?  Do you want nothing to do with me?  Should I just stop trying…”  She was rambling again.  That man did something to her.  She couldn’t think around him.  

“Stop.”  Snape held up his hand to silence her.  She did as he asked and looked down at the floor.  After a moment, she looked up again.  She was not going to let him have the last word.  

“How about Saturday night at seven?  We can talk.  Or not.  I’ll be there.  I truly hope you will join me.”  She stood there, looking at him, unable to take her eyes off of him.  He was, at once, so close yet so far away.  She could reach out and touch him, embrace him, kiss him if she so desired, and good lord, did she so desire it, but he was always so distant.  She broke her gaze and turned to walk away.  

He wanted to stop her.  He wanted to say everything that he needed to say, everything that he wanted to say, but he couldn’t manage one word.  She walked out of his office, and he just let her go.

Chapter 10

“Professor, I wanted to talk to you for a moment.”

 “And you just happened to find Lupin on your way down to my office?”

 “No.  He needed to talk to me, and I was on my way down here, so we chatted while we walked.”

 “So…?  What do you want?”

 “There’s no reason to be rude, Snivellus,” Remus said with a smirk.

 E turned to him, with a look of pure hatred on her face and said, “Remus, I have asked you not to use that name.  I don’t want to have to ask you again.”  

 “Oh, how sweet; a lover’s quarrel, right here in my corridor.”  His remark was snide and cruel, and knowingly unwarranted, but her response to Lupin shocked him, and he spoke without thinking.

 “Don’t be absurd, Professor.  You very well know that Remus is happily married to Tonks.”  That I am madly in love with you, she thought, I hope remains a secret for a while longer.  “Now, if you please, I do need to speak with you.”

 “So, speak.”

 “Damn it, Snape.  I told you to watch your tone.”

 “Gentlemen, please.  Remus, I answered your question, now please…just go.  Give my love to Tonks.  I’ll be in touch.”  She quickly hugged him goodbye and turned back to Snape.  “May I come in?”

 “If you must.”  He stepped aside to allow her to enter.  The combination of scents that met her at the door was overwhelming.  The dungeon classroom smelled like potions, both in their ingredient form and brewed, with a bit of a burned odor here and there.  But above it all, Snape’s scent hung like a warm blanket, under which she wanted to crawl and never emerge.  The Dark Forest after the snow, old books and damp stone walls.  God, she loved that scent.

“So, Professor, what can I do for you?”

She held out her hand holding the love potion.  “I confiscated this from a student this evening, and I wanted you to have it.  It may not be authentic, but I felt it would be safer here than in my office.”

“Did you determine its authenticity?”

“No, I did not.”

“Well, do that first before you waste my time the next time something so trivial crosses your desk.”

“Very well, sir.”

“So?  Smell it now.”

 “Now?  Here?”

“Yes, now, here.”  Again, he was being cruel to her, but she upset him, bringing that beast to his office.

She withdrew her hand and opened the small delicate bottle.  She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply.  The scent that assaulted her senses nearly overwhelmed her.  Old books, damp stone walls, and the Dark Forest after the snow.  Just as she thought.  The potion was authentic, and she was still very much in love with Snape.  

“Let me guess…damp fur and moonlight,”  Snape hissed with an ugly smirk on his face.  If she didn’t love him so much, she would have hated him at that moment.

“No.  Not that it’s any of your business, but that is not what I smell in the Amortentia.”

“Care to share?”

“If I say no, you will continue to believe you are correct, will you not?”  He smiled slightly at her, knowing that he was, in fact, torturing her.

“Well, if you must know, I smell old books, damp stone walls, and the Dark Forest after the snow.  Care to take a whiff for yourself?”

He glared at her, a quiet derisive laugh escaping his lips, and took the bottle from her hand.  He replaced the stopper, walked to his desk, and secreted the bottle there.

He stood behind his desk, not looking at her, but around his office.  “You and Lupin are friends?”

“Yes.  We have been for quite a while.”

“He is a bit older than you, no?”

“No older than you, sir, and I’d like to think we are becoming friends.”  She looked at him, waiting for him to make eye contact with her again.  Eventually, he did look at her but did not respond to her comment.  

“Well, sir,” she said, clearing her throat, “I have taken enough of your time.  I will be going now.  I hope to see you at dinner.”  She turned and walked out of his office, knowing that he was watching her as she left. 

Snape sat at his desk for a moment in silent thought.  That woman…  Such impudence.  He reached into his desk and removed the bottle of Amortentia.  Uncertain of what he would smell, but concerned with what he may, he unstoppered the bottle and inhaled.  Just as he thought, or rather, feared.  The scent of the Dark Forest after the rain.  Ever since that night they were caught in the rain, E’s scent had been haunting him.  He did not know it was hers until much later.  He would never forget that evening in the forest, but every now and again, he would catch a scent of the woods that would bring it back to him more strongly than before.  He came to realize that, at those moments, E was close to him.  In the corridors, in the Great Hall, in her classroom.  It was her scent, and now he could smell it in the Amortentia.  

Chapter 9

October came and went.  The nights turned cold, and the mornings arrived with frosty certainty.  Snape’s observations of E’s class had ended one month before, but he occasionally snuck into the back of her classroom to watch her teach.  E always saw him but chose to ignore his arrival.  She loved being in his presence; it was becoming more and more difficult for her to keep that to herself, but she tried very hard to shield her feelings from him as he entered her classroom.  

Her teaching skill did not suffer from the lack of his advice.  Snape never really gave her any advice, so it didn’t seem to matter when he stopped observing her.  Some classes were better than others, and some were just awful.  There was one such class in chilly mid-November.  Her class that day was a disaster, not for anything that she did, but for that which she had to do.  Two students were whispering in the back, and E learned that they had just obtained a small vial of Amortentia to use on another student.  How she learned this was immaterial.  She confiscated the bottle and gave the whole class the speech she hoped she would never have to give.

“Love Potions may not be banned at Hogwarts, but they are most certainly forbidden in my classroom.  True love is one of the most powerful emotions in the world, but Amortentia does not create true love.  It creates only obsession.  Obsessive love is not something that we want for ourselves, nor would we wish it upon a friend or enemy.  Now please, all of you, don’t ever try to use this on another soul.  It is cruel.”  Class was over, and she dismissed her students.  She moved to the back of the class, hoping her speech moved at least a few of her students to fight the temptation to use a love potion in the future.  A knock at the door shook her from her thoughts.

“Remus!  What a surprise?  What are you doing here?”  She walked over and hugged him.  

“I was wondering if I could have a chat with you, if you have the time.”

“Of course.  Do you mind if we walk as we chat?  I have to go down to the dungeons.”  The two started to walk down the corridor leading to the stairs.

“Oh you do, do you?  Why is that, may I ask?”

“Cute.  Really.  Subtle.  I have to give this love potion to Professor Snape.”  E kept walking, not having noticed that Remus had stopped a few feet back.

“You what?”

“Again, cute.  Not give him the potion, but drop it off with him.  I took it off a student, and I think it might be the real thing, so I felt that he should keep it in his office rather than mine.”  She walked back the few feet and took him by the arm.  “Let’s go.  I need to see him.”

“I bet you do.”

“Stop, just stop.  No one knows how I feel, so I don’t need you exposing my secret for the rest of the school.  Now, what did you want to discuss?”

They continued their walk to the dungeons, in silence as Remus searched for the right words to ask his question.  “Well, you know that we, Tonks and I, are expecting a baby.”

“Yes.”

“We were wondering if you would be its godmother.”  This time, it was her turn to stop in her tracks.  

“Really?  Are you sure?  I mean, I’m not really the responsible type.  Of course, yes, I would be honored.”  They stopped right outside the door to Snape’s classroom, and E hugged Remus.  She heard the door behind her open, and Snape walked out.  E quickly released Remus and looked at Snape.  

Chapter 8

“May I speak freely, sir?”  A slight nod of his lovely head granted her the permission she sought. “I fear I need to apologize for my behavior.”

“What behavior is that?”

“My behavior, it seems, whenever we find ourselves together.”  For the first time, he broke eye contact with her and looked down at the forest floor between them.  She took one more step forward, and when he glanced up again, she was still looking at him.  “I fear I have acted inappropriately with you at certain times, and I am sorry if I have upset or offended you in any way.  You need to understand: I have the greatest respect for you, and if I have done anything to jeopardize our relationship…”  He lifted a finger in protest and opened his mouth to speak, but she reached and placed her hand on his arm to silence him.  It worked.  “Our professional relationship, that is, I am profoundly sorry.”  Again, she let her hand linger on his arm a bit too long, but neither seemed to mind the contact.  The wind blew and woke them from their mutual trance.  She slowly removed her hand from his sleeve, and for the first time since he came upon her in the forest, she looked away from his face.  Damn it, she thought to herself.  You just can’t keep your hands off him, can you?  Stupid child… 

“Your apology is…accepted.”  His words surprised her; she was sure she had just doomed the whole relationship again.  He is more forgiving than she had been led to believe.  

She looked back into his eyes.  “Thank you, sir.”

He raised a hand to silence her this time.  “However, I believe my observations of your class are at an end.  September is over, and you no longer need my…advice.”  

“Oh.  I am sorry to hear that, but if you feel that this is best…  To be honest, I looked forward to your observations and your advice.”  Again, she looked away, this time to hide her disappointment. As she did, he reached out a hand and gently brushed a leaf from her hair.  It must have been there since she rose from the ground when she first noticed him.  It was the briefest of contact, but it sent a sensation of utter ecstasy through her body.  She turned back to face him.  She expected the leaf to fall, but Snape held it in his hand.  

“Silver maple.  Truly a beautiful tree.  Even in the autumn.”  He let it fall, but neither watched it reached the ground.  Their eyes were fixed on each other.  The wind blew again, and on it, a very real threat of rain.  

“We should probably head back up the castle.  A storm is on the way, and we wouldn’t want to get caught in a downpour, would we?”  The sun had long since set, and the sliver of moon was obscured with the increasing clouds; the forest was pitch black.  “If you have no other reason to remain in the forest, feel free to follow me out.”  With a wave of her wand and a whispered ‘lumos,’ E led Snape out of the forest.  He followed closely; she could feel his breath on her hair, hear his footsteps in the leaves, and smell his subtle scent all around her.  

The first raindrops fell softly, hitting the leaves still on the trees and breaking the silence of the forest.  They increased in size and intensity; by the time they reached the edge of the forest, the sky had opened.  Unconsciously, E took Snape’s hand, and together they ran for cover.  

Watching from his office window, Dumbledore smiled to himself as he saw the two professors, hand in hand, scramble up the hill from the Dark Forest to the safety of the castle.  

They reached the walkway; E released Snape’s hand, and waving her wand over him, performed a charm to dry his clothes and hair.  She did the same to herself; she did not want to give Snape the impression that he needed to be the one to perform the charm on her, regardless of how she may have wanted it to be so.  They stood still, looking at each other for a moment or two, when she finally said, “I enjoyed our chat, Professor.  I hope to do it again.”  She turned and glided, almost triumphantly, away.  Once more, Snape found himself watching her walk away from him; his search for answers was simultaneously a success and a failure.

Chapter 7

Autumn leaves strewn about the grounds crunched under foot as Snape made his way to the edge of the Dark Forest.  Where he was going, or what his plan was, he could not put into words, even in his own mind.  Listening to her comments in the headmaster’s office, and then watching her walk across the courtyard, alone yet determined, aroused his…curiosity.  Where was she going?

He reached the edge of the Dark Forest and listened.  Aside from the sound of his own breathing, the forest was silent.  He loved the Dark Forest; there was something mysterious yet comforting about the place.  The closeness of the trees, the soft forest floor, the silence…  But it was the smell of the forest that he loved the most.  The green smell of the trees, the dark damp scent of the soil, and the smell of the air especially after the autumn storms, brought to his mind a memory, a happiness long lost to him.  Why he did not visit the forest more often, he could not say.  

The sun was setting, and the few dying rays that managed to survive the journey through the canopy illuminated the dark green forest before him with a golden hue, casting long menacing shadows on the soft forest floor.  With a single step forward, he entered the forest.  He truly had no idea in which direction to walk, for the forest was huge, but for some reason, he chose one path over the others and followed it.  He walked for about twenty minutes and stopped at the edge of a small opening within the trees.

Lying in the center of the copse, perfectly still on the leaf covered floor, was E.  She had a book open on her chest, but she was not reading.  He did not approach her, nor did he make a sound.  He stood at the edge of the copse and watched her for a moment from afar.  She was staring straight up in the air, as if she were looking at something through the opening in the canopy.  His eyes followed hers upward and noticed a small cluster of autumn leaves dancing in midair.  There was no real breeze, and the leaves were not caught in an updraft, so E must have been controlling them magically.  He had the strange feeling that she was quite skilled in nonverbal spells, but he had not seen her perform one since her last days as a student.  The leaves were literally dancing in the air; they twisted and turned together as if they were waltzing.  He watched them, and her, for what seemed like an eternity, 

She did not hear him approach the copse, but a shift in the wind brought his scent to her attention.  She lost her focus, and the leaves tumbled to the forest floor to rejoin their fallen comrades.  How long he had been watching her, she did not know.  Any other day, she would have been able to sense or smell him before this, but she was so angry with herself after her comments in the headmaster’s office, her emotions got in the way.  She sat up in the copse and looked around; he was standing at the edge of the opening.  She jumped to her feet and brushed the leaves from her cloak.  

“Professor, I did not hear your approach.  How are you this evening?”  She did not move from her spot in the center of the circle, but she looked directly into his eyes. 

“I am well, Professor.  I hope I did not startle you.”

“Not at all, sir.”

“May I ask what you are doing out here at this time of night?”

“Every now and again, I just need to get out of the castle, and tonight seemed to be one of those times.  I found this place a few nights ago, and I loved it.  It’s peaceful and comforting, compared to the noise of the castle.  Most of all, I love the smell of the forest.”  She started to take a few slow steps toward him, her eyes never leaving his.  “The trees, the soil, even the air, has a scent.  I love it this time of year.  The air smells of rain or snow.”

Her response shocked him; he thought he was the only one who loved the scent of the forest.  A fleeting smile crossed his perfect face.  He tried to hide it, but somehow, she saw.

“Did I say something amusing, my lord?”  She asked as she continued to take slow steps toward him.  His scent, combined with the scent of the forest, was overwhelming her senses.  She closed her eyes and inhaled.  

“No, not at all.”  Such impudence, he thought to himself as he watched her continue her slow stroll toward him.  The scent of the forest seemed stronger that evening with the threat of rain hanging in the air.  The autumn leaves crunching under her feet made the only sound.  Eventually, she was standing right in front of him.  

“Sir, what brings you out here this evening?”

“I don’t see how that is any of your business.”

“And yet, you asked me the very same question, and I answered you truthfully.  But, I suspect you are correct; ‘tis none of my business, your reasons for visiting the forest.  Please forgive my…impudence, my lord.”  How she knew exactly what to say to him at any given moment to get the greatest reaction from him, he did not know.  Her words shocked him again, and he took one step back from her and crossed his arms in front of his chest.